Job Opening: Teach Chinese to a Panda

I just saw this article about Měilán’s (美兰) return to China and had to mention it. If you’ve got a good command of Chinese and English, no infectious diseases, and a bachelor’s degree or higher, you might want to consider applying.

Although, I guess you’d have to be in Chengdu and know some Sìchuān huà 四川话:

“[The panda] will be taught Chinese with a Sichuan dialect because people here all speak Sichuan dialect…For example, she will be taught the phrases for going back to the cage or coming out from the dormitory.”

I couldn’t find the sina site that was mentioned but I did find this article that gives you the phone number to call if you want to apply.

Nǐ hǎo 你好: A Very Fake Greeting

I was waiting for my turn at the ping pong table the other night, when an older teacher started walking past me. I’d seen him several times before and even played ping pong with him once.

“Nǐ hǎo 你好,” I said.

He stopped his walk and said, in all sincerity that most people don’t say “nǐ hǎo” 你好 as a greeting. It just sounds too fake (tài jiǎ de 太假的).

I was very startled and asked him to please tell me what I should say. He then went into how good friends will say, “Chīfàn le ma?” 吃饭了吗? or one of the many variations on the question and there are different responses depending on whether or not you’ve just eaten.

This might have been a good little prank, but he was perfectly serious. He was even explaining it to one of his Chinese colleagues who was standing there too (as if he didn’t know!). The colleague, in all earnestness, was agreeing and adding little tid bits of his own to the advice.

I listened very politely and then it ended and they left.

I was surprised to hear all this because:

A. I already know all about “Chī le ma?” 吃了吗? and all the other ”eat-n-greet” options around here. I was shocked that these teachers thought I could understand all the other vocabulary they were using yet, somehow, managed to miss one of the most basic greetings.

B. I thought “Nǐ hǎo” 你好 was perfectly friendly. I had no idea it sounded so “fake.” I think he might have meant it was too formal and not casual enough for good friends.

C. I don’t consider him a good friend. He’s an older teacher who I’ve only spoken with a few times, and usually the conversations have left me (like this one) with an unpleasant wèidào 味道 in my kǒu .

So the real questions for any of those loyal few who still tune in to this blog are:

1. Is there any truth in what this man says?

2. Should I now be afraid to say “Nǐ hǎo” 你好 at the risk of sounding fake?

I don’t know why, I  just prefer not to ask people if they’ve eaten as a greeting. But I’d be willing to try if the overwhelming number of comments (i.e. more than zero) tell me I should.

Free Gift from ChineseTeachers.com

Shèngdàn kuàilè 圣诞快乐 everyone! (Such a strident seasonal greeting–it just doesn’t sound as merry in Chinese.) Before I get back to wrapping my gifts, I thought I’d mention an actual free gift (as opposed to this) available to everyone for the next week.

Apparently, ChineseTeachers.com is doing a Christmas special offering unlimited Chinese lessons (voice chats with Chinese native speakers) until the end of this year (2009). But here’s the kicker:

After I wrote a review of ChineseTeachers.com, they hired me to do some consulting for them. So, as a thank you to you (the inexplicably loyal readers of this blog), they just informed me that anyone who mentions the name of this blog will receive a free $1 in your account, which is the minimum required to take advantage of the Christmas special. So that means that anyone who reads this little post can actually have totally free Chinese lessons (or as I prefer to think of it: informant Q&A time) for the next week.

If you decide you’d like to give it a try, just remember to type “Laowai Chinese” as the answer to “Where did you hear about us?” when you create your account. That’s apparently the magic mìmǎ 密码.

Enjoy shouting holiday cheer to everyone you meet (four 4th tones in a row, sheesh!).