Free Gift from ChineseTeachers.com

Shèngdàn kuàilè 圣诞快乐 everyone! (Such a strident seasonal greeting–it just doesn’t sound as merry in Chinese.) Before I get back to wrapping my gifts, I thought I’d mention an actual free gift (as opposed to this) available to everyone for the next week.

Apparently, ChineseTeachers.com is doing a Christmas special offering unlimited Chinese lessons (voice chats with Chinese native speakers) until the end of this year (2009). But here’s the kicker:

After I wrote a review of ChineseTeachers.com, they hired me to do some consulting for them. So, as a thank you to you (the inexplicably loyal readers of this blog), they just informed me that anyone who mentions the name of this blog will receive a free $1 in your account, which is the minimum required to take advantage of the Christmas special. So that means that anyone who reads this little post can actually have totally free Chinese lessons (or as I prefer to think of it: informant Q&A time) for the next week.

If you decide you’d like to give it a try, just remember to type “Laowai Chinese” as the answer to “Where did you hear about us?” when you create your account. That’s apparently the magic mìmǎ 密码.

Enjoy shouting holiday cheer to everyone you meet (four 4th tones in a row, sheesh!).

Free Gifts

Alright, pretend when you read the upcoming pinyin you’re really listening to a shopkeeper in Guangzhou.

I was shopping for Shèngdàn lǐwù 圣诞礼物 in a big shopping mall in Guangzhou. I found a little silk scarf I was considering and the shopkeeper came over to convince me it was exactly what I wanted. I explained (just for the chance to speak Chinese) that I was looking for Christmas presents and especially one for my mom. She and her shopkeeper friend were thrilled to learn that and started pointing at other things in the shop. One picked up a decorative fan and said (ready for the imaginary listening practice?):

Zhè ge sòng nǐ hěn hǎo.

I was shocked. I transcribed it in my head to be these characters:

这个送你很好 = I’ll give you this for free, that’s good.

I thought, “Really?! You’d just give this to me. Just because I’m shopping for Christmas presents? It looks kind of expensive though. I mean, it’s a really fancy fan.”

So I clarified:

Zhège sòng gěi wǒ ma?
这个送给我吗?
You’re giving this to me for free?

I’ve never heard so many “bù-s” in such a short time span, and coming from such smiling faces as one said:

Bú shì “sòng nǐ,” shì “sòng nǐ.”

and she made some hanzi characters on her hand.

Have you figured out the problem yet?

Thankfully, I’ve spent a lot of time down here in the South teaching Chinese students English majors, many of whom have the same pronunciation problem. I sorted it all out by saying:

O! Nǐ de yìsi shì “sòng lǐ”–sòng lǐwù de lǐ–bú shì “sòng nǐ.”
哦你的意思是送礼”–送礼物的礼不是送你.”
Oh! You mean “to give as a gift”–the “li” of gift–not “to give you for free.”

The delight in the room could have lit all the Christmas trees in Tiānhé 天河!

The old “n/l” switcheroo is just one of the many widespread pronunciation problems we have to deal with in the South, and seems to be especially prevalent in Guangdong. The sounds are allophones in many fāngyán 方言 (including, apparently Cantonese) and so this sort of thing happens all the time. Many times you can figure out what it was supposed to be (“Nǐ qù lǎlǐ?”). This was just one of those times when both variations were possible and only one could be true.

Tennis Players and Drummers

As I’m sure my English-speaking readers would agree, the agent marker “-er” is tough for Chinese learners. We use it all the time in English (3 times in the previous sentence) but it’s not so readily available in Chinese.

Example 1: Tennis Player

Imagine I see a girl walking down the street with a tennis racket in her hand. I want to dāshàn 搭讪 (not to be confused with you-know-who). In English, I’d say something like:

“Nice racket you’ve got there. So, are you a tennis player?”

How would we translate that second sentence into Chinese? Well, looking at “reporter” (jìzhě 记者) and “scholar” (xuézhě 学者) we see that you just add “-zhě” to the end of a verb and you’ve suddenly got a noun meaning “someone who VERBs.” Unfortunately, even though the grammar is technically correct for a literal translation, the word dǎzhě 打者 doesn’t exist, so this is impossible:

Wrong:
Nǐ shì wǎngqiú dǎzhě ma? 你是网球打者? = Are you a tennis player? [you are tennis play-er {p}]

So what should we say? The other agent markers are out because you can’t add them to “dǎ” either:

  • -jiā = -er (like in “huàjiā” 画家 = painter)
  • -yuán = -er (like in “yǎnyuán” 演员 = actor / performer)

These words do not exist is Chinese:

Wrong:
Nǐ shì wǎngqiú dǎjiā ma? 你是网球打家?
Nǐ shì wǎngqiú dǎyuán ma? 你是网球打员?

You could add yuán to “tennis,” but that sounds too professional:

Nǐ shì wǎngqiúyuán ma? 你是网球员吗? = Are you a (professional) tennis player?

That’s not really my question. I just want to know if she plays tennis.

So I suggested to my informants the trusty “shì…de” construction:

Nǐ shì dǎ wǎngqiú de ma? 你是打网球的吗? = Are you a tennis player? [you are play tennis {p} {p}]

They said it’s ok, but sounds strange. It turns out what most Chinese people would say is simply:

Nǐ huì dǎ wǎngqiú ma? 你会打网球吗? = Do you know how to play tennis?

OR better yet:

Nǐ jīngcháng dǎ wǎngqiú ma? 你经常打网球吗? = Do you often play tennis?

I know, I know, I know. We don’t want to talk about how often she plays, but that’s the way Chinese people would ask our original question, “Are you a tennis player?” or “Do you play tennis?” Apparently, adding the “jīngcháng” 经常 in there is better (or at least more dìdao 地道) than just saying: “Nǐ dǎ wǎngqiú ma?” 你打网球吗?

Lesson 1 = If you can leave out the agent marker and just ask a simple “Do you often VERB?” question, that’s probably best.

Example 2: Drummer

But sometimes that’s really not what I want to know. Imagine I’m at a rock show and I meet a band of 4 guys before their set. I want to know who is the drummer in the band. Now, I could just ask each of them:

Nǐ huì dǎ gǔ ma? 你会打鼓吗? = Do you know how to play the drums?

But there’s always that chance, especially because everyone knows how to hit stuff, that they’ll ALL say, “Yes.” They might even hit them pretty often, which renders the “jīngcháng” 经常 construction useless. I really just want to ask about the drummer! Enter: “hand.”

Nǐ shì gǔshǒu ma? 你是鼓手吗? = Are you the drummer? [you are drum-hand {p}]

“Hand” works as the agent marker for most (all?) instrumentalists (jítāshǒu 吉他手 = guitarist) and in some other situations as well:

  • xuǎnshǒu 选手 = competitor / contestant [choose hand]
  • shuǐshǒu 水手 = sailor [water hand]
  • qiāngshǒu 枪手 = gunner [gun hand]
  • duìshǒu 对手 = opponent [opposite hand]

Summary

I’m always looking for some sort of guīlǜ 规律 to guide me when thinking about these things and here’s what I’ve got so far (although it’s not even close to perfect):

  1. If it’s the formal name of an actual job (reporter, scholar, actor, tennis player, etc.) look for some sort of formal word that may use any of the following: “-zhě” , “-jiā” , or “-yuán” to create the job title.
  2. If it’s less formal or more of a temporary or amateur position (drummer in a band, competitor) look to add “-shǒu” after the main noun involved (sailor and gunner are exceptions I guess, as is ).
  3. If you just want to talk about a hobby, just ask “Do you often VERB?”

As an example, if I want to create a formal book club dedicated to reading the collected works of Lǔ Xùn 鲁迅, I’d say:

Lǔ Xùn de dúzhě 鲁迅的读者 = readers of Lu Xun

(One student told me that authors often thank the “dúzhě” 读者 at the end of a book.)

But after that tennis racket girl shuts me down and I want to change tactics and ask if she’s an avid reader, I should say:

Nà, nǐ jīngcháng kàn shū ma? ,你经常看书吗? = So, do you often read books?

She’ll probably think I’m a player or a loser and just walk away.