Terms of Endearment
A few foreigners in China have commented to me that it seems like everyone has the same name: “xiao.” Actually, that’s a kind of term of endearment or perhaps role-defining prefix that just means “small” or “young.” Here’s how it works:
Say there’s a young man named Wáng Qiáng 王强. His friends could call him:
Wang’s boss might call him “xiǎo Wáng” as a way of reminding him of his position. Or, if there are two Wangs working in the same office, one might be “xiǎo Wáng” 小王 [young Wang] and the other “lǎo Wáng” 老王 [old Wang].
But the “a” + GIVEN NAME seems to be only for good friends.
Other little pet names you might encounter are:
- bǎobèi 宝贝 = baby / honey / darling [precious]
- qiānjīn 千金 = darling (daughter) [1000 gold]
- hǔzǐ 虎子 = tiger (son) [tiger son]
Did I miss any?
See also Chinese Family Tree, Mates, and Addressing Strangers
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13 Responses to “Terms of Endearment”
Mitch Davis
said:
And it doesn’t even matter how old you are, you’ll still never be free of the “xiao” to some people.
For example, even though my wife is 35, her mother will still yell out “xiao yan!!!!” to get her attention in a busy shopping mall. I cringe!
Comment date: May 3, 2007
Will
said:
um… just to point out one thing: if there are two Wangs in an office, one might be ‘xiao wang’ and another might be ‘lao wang’. i think ‘lao’ in this situation is much more usual than ‘da’. though ‘da’ can be an ‘endearment’ as well. for example i like calling one of my friends ‘da xiong’ which means ‘big bear’. but usually i think it’s common to put ‘lao’ before someone’s family name as endearment.
personally i haven’t called anyone ‘a+given name’. but i think it differs from place to place in china.
i just found an interesting thing here, there is a name ‘da huang’. note here huang is a family name and it’s put after ‘da’ instead of ‘lao’. but if you call someone ‘da huang’. they may think you’re calling him a dog!–becaues da huang is usually a dog’s name! another example is ‘xiao qiang’ and this is originally a cricket’s name and it’s from a film called ‘da hua xi you’.
Comment date: May 4, 2007
Albert
said:
You’re right of course. I’ve changed it to be “lao” not “da.”
And Mitch, I guess since your wife will always be younger than her mother, there’s no hope of that nickname changing…
Comment date: May 4, 2007
Nicki
said:
I have also come across 宝宝 bǎobǎo (treasure) for baby or darling.
Comment date: May 4, 2007
Ingo
said:
“Long” (dragon) might be used in the south/HK, especially in Wushu/Kungfu circles? Probably combined with Xiao?
Comment date: May 4, 2007
Will
said:
yeah I have a nephew called long long and i know one chinese child here called xiao long.
Comment date: May 7, 2007
JayDee
said:
What about “qīn ài de” (亲爱的)? This also means something like “darling”.
Comment date: May 8, 2007
Alex
said:
I came by my new use of the word “xiao” arose during a trip with Chinese friends. We live in Guangzhou, where you call a waitress “xiaojie,” but it’s a local thing and I’ve been cautioned not to use it in northern locales. In that case, I was told to resort to fu wu ren (sorry, I’m a character illiterate!). But I went on a trip recently with a group of Chinese friends to a different province. Whenever they needed to call a waitress, they would call for “Xiao Mei”. No matter where we were, the waitress always responded to this moniker. I think it’s kind of nice, I’ve been using it in Guangzhou now, as well!
Comment date: May 8, 2007
Chris
said:
I have a friend that calls me and others “笨蛋” or “小笨蛋” as a term of endearment.
Comment date: Jul 24, 2007
David
said:
Chris, I don’t really know how that could be a term of endearment except with a sense of irony. ben dan means fool/idiot, ben meaning fool and dan meaning egg. Maybe it is, but you must have strange friends. : )
Comment date: Sep 30, 2007
Kiki
said:
my boyfriend calls me “xiao ke ai” or (little cutie) and I am quite fond of it.
Comment date: Oct 1, 2008
Fei
said:
I am wondering what endearments can be used towards females…? And in response to Chris and David, ben dan can be used as endearment, though it surely comes off strange to those who aren’t part of the group of friends.
Comment date: Apr 9, 2009
Steve
said:
During my time in China some people called me ‘bendan’ mostly because of my middle name which reads like a long winded mandarin insult:
Benjamin – which sounds like Ben Jia Men
What can ya do?
Comment date: Mar 19, 2010