So you can see, it has nothing to do with your nationality. Only a language problem.

Thanks for the comments. Those are good suggestions.

Although, I must point out to the other readers that there are many more than 57 dialects in China. Perhaps there are 57 general categories (I don’t know about that), but when I asked a Chinese linguist friend of mine exactly how many dialects exist in China his answer was “countless.”

Second, I have had this experience. I went to China (Shanghai) with my wife, who was then my fiance. We stayed with her parents for three months. Prior to this trip I had been studying Chinese for two years at University. I thought my Chinese was quite good, and was looking forward to the opportunity to ‘try it out’.

Boy was I disappointed! No-one, and I mean NO-ONE understood a word I said. Not only that, I couldn’t understand them either! When saying words containing ’sh’, their ’sh’ would come out as ’s’. The first thing my wife’s mother said to me (after we came through customs) was “你三点下飞机吗？” (Nǐ sān dian xià feījī ma?) - this was not what I heard. I heard (to my horror): “你什么时候上班？” (Nǐ shénme shíhou shàngbān?).

It wasn’t until we came back from a week-long trip to Beijing that I started to understand them. While I was in Beijing I could actually understand some people, which restored some of the confidence that was shattered on our arrival in Shanghai.

After we had been there for two months, I found that people understood me, and I could understand them. For me it was all to do with making sure I opened my mouth and moved my tongue about correctly. I didn’t realise how important tongue position is until it was explained to me by a Chinese teacher. If you find that people don’t understand your Chinese, ask a native speaker to think about their tongue positions when saying “trouble” words, and have them explain the details to you.

On a side note, I heard a lot of Germans speak Chinese (a short class I took was composed of mainly Germans), and I found it interesting to hear their pronunciation.

Great site!

To illustrate, if I fall off a boat I’ll automatically cry “Help!”, but a Chinese would yell “救命” [jiu4ming4, save life]. Suppose that, on my way into the water, I remember I’m in China. I pull out my handy pocket dictionary and discover that “help” is “帮忙” [bang1mang2], so I shout that term out at the top of my lungs. If a Chinese man sees me fall into the water, he’s going to know what I want whether he understands my words or not. If he’s looking the other way, however, he might understand my words but not get my drift (so to speak). He only knows I want help doing something. If he’s especially literal-minded, when he turns around and sees me in the water, he might momentarily wonder why I want him to help me drown.

A Chinese teacher once asked me to make a sentence using 坐车 [zuo4che1, ride a bus]. I said “坐车要付钱” [fu4qian2, pay money], which literally means “You have to pay to ride a bus.” The teacher looked puzzled for a moment, then with an “ah-ha” expression on his face said, “坐车不是付钱, 是买票.” [We don’t use “付钱” for riding a bus, we use “买票” (mai3piao4, buy a ticket).] At the time, busses in Beijing had no fare boxes, only conductors who sold tickets. In the teacher’s mind, therefore, the expression 付钱didn’t quite match up with the idea of riding a bus. Coupled with my American accent, this was enough to make him wonder if he’d heard me right. (By the way, now that the busses no longer have conductors, I think the preferred expression is “投币” [tou2bi4, throw money in the box].)

Another time I asked several people on the street if there was a Bank of China branch nearby. (附近有中行没有?, fu4jin4 you3 zhong1hang2 mei2you?) After seven or eight negative replies I learned that there was one on the next street over, and I wondered why so many people had said “没有.” I finally realized I had made two mistakes. First, despite what the dictionary says, 附近 does not mean the same thing to a Chinese who rides a bike as “nearby” does to an American who drives a car. Second, and more to the point, I was speaking Engl-ese. In English, asking if something is near is a polite way to ask for directions. Not so in Chinese. In effect, I was asking only whether a bank branch existed within spitting distance (a strange question, perhaps, but what can you expect from a foreigner). The people had answered the question I asked, not the question I thought I was asking.

I still remember the first time a Chinese girl asked me in English to come over to her place and play. I understood every word, and I’m sure I got that “deer in the headlights” look on my face. A friend had to explain to me that she didn’t mean what I thought – she was speaking Chinglish (有中国特色的英语). Since then I’ve been able to sympathize with the poor Chinese who have to puzzle out my Engl-ese.